The Fearless Scorpion Hunter

A couple weeks ago, I saw something that caught my eye. A scorpion hunter kit. Yes sir, everything one could want to safely catch scorpions – all in one container.  It seems scorpions illuminate under special lighting. Since I am new to New Mexico, it sounded like a great device to have in my possession. Thusly, I ordered it.

scorpionhunter.com1My Scorpion Hunter kit came in today.  It has a wonderful little box with letters that illuminate with the special little UV flashlight that comes with it. The instructions say to wait until dark. Since I didn’t feel good today, I was practicing doing nothing. I am not good at doing nothing, but with more practice, who knows.

Once I deemed it dark enough, I donned the special yellow scorpion hunting glasses, turned on my special scorpion hunting flashlight, put on protective clothing – slippers. I then took the special scorpion hunting tweezers with special illuminating plastic ends, the special scorpion hunting flashlight and went hunting.scorpionhunter.com2

The exhilaration produced by walking the premises hoping to tweeze a scorpion by the tail made me feel like a kid again. It reminded me of using my special decoder ring from a cereal box. I found myself wishing I had the optional Scorpion Hunter hat, though. As I walked the yard, I was amazed to discover how much trash illuminates in the special UV light. Specks of this, gobs of that, here and there, hither and yon throughout the yard.

While on this hunt, I happened to see a silhouette of a large spider suspended in mid-air in the garage with the special flashlight. So, I turned on the garage light and it turned out to be a black widow. I dispatched it quickly and praised God that I had noticed it BEFORE I ran into it.

Other than the spider, I had to come in the house defeated. This pleased my wife. But I must say I was disappointed to not have a scorpion squeezed in the tweezers. Then again after the hubbub this would have caused had died down, I may have been sleeping in the doghouse. Since Parkinson’s made me very sore today, the doghouse would have been extremely uncomfortable.

In retrospect, I realized that God knew I didn’t need to catch a scorpion with my handy dandy Scorpion Hunter kit with the potential of making such a poor decision within the realm of possibility.

 

© copyright Kevin T Boekhoff

 

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About Kevin T Boekhoff,

Author, Pastor, Humor writer, Gospel Ventriloquist

Posted on July 28, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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