Golf joke

An inept golfer’s ball flew into the rough and landed on an anthill.
He tried and tried to hit the ball back onto the fairway but each time he
missed and hit the anthill.  Ants went flying all over the place.

One ant turned to another and said, “If we are going to survive, we had
better get on the ball.”

David Who?

FYI It won’t bother me a bit that David Letterman is no longer on TV. I didn’t watch him anyway – barely tolerated his commercials. I muted them and went to the fridge for a snack. I might miss the snacks though.

Really Happened Today

I was driving along and kept missing our turns.  I told Katie, “I just keep missing our turns, right and left.”  She just sighed.

Too funny … kinda … well … See what you think.

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers. Yesterday, I had a problem, so I called Georgie, the 11-year-old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Georgie clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”

He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.”

Georgie grinned, “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”

“No,” I replied.

“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”

So I wrote down:

ID10T

Olympic Sneakers

Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, “Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in.”

Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, “Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput.” He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.

The attendant says, “Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information.”

HOT DOG! The first guy grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: “Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin.”

The attendant says, “Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!”

The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up the registration table, and states: “Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus.”

The attendant says, “Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself.”

They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They forgot to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and blow their cover stories.

They spot him walking with a roll of barbed wire under his arm. He walks up the registration table and states: “Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing.”

Free isn’t Free Anymore

Took this picture at Walmart today:

IMG_0666

Wanna See My Hide-a-bed?

 

 

Josee discovered she could open the bottom drawer and sleep there.  She is showing off how here hide-a-bed works in these pictures.DSC_03040005 DSC_03050006 DSC_03060007 DSC_03070008 DSC_03080009 DSC_03120012

Funny

Grandma was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife:
“You come to the front door of the apartment complex.  I am in apartment 14T.  There is a big panel at the door.  With your elbow push button 14.  I will buzz you in.  Come inside, the elevator is on the right.  Get in, and with your elbow hit 14.  When you get out I am on the left.  With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”
“Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?” the grandson asked.
“You’re coming empty handed …  ?”

What Power!!!

I didn’t realize the power I have until today.  Yup, I washed the car and now its raining – in the desert.  I mean POURING!!! Wind, thunder, and lighting. Now, that takes real power, or exceeding bad luck.  Hummm.

Joke: Mother’s Day Gift

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother’s Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs. “It’s a surprise for Mother’s Day,” one explained, “we decided to cook our own breakfast.”

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 330 other followers

%d bloggers like this: