Joke: Are you Ready Yet?

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”

Shouting back, the woman replies, “For crying out loud, Dewey, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour… I’ll be ready in a minute!”

I Figured It Out!

Aztec-04

This is a picture of the Great Kiva at the Aztec Ruins National Monument (I didn’t take this, I found it on the internet).  The speculation is that it had some ceremonial significance.  My wife and I were wondering what the little rooms were with the skinny ladders all around the room. Worship?  Nope. I figured it out.  Remember Laugh In?  Rowan and Martin didn’t come up with it, the Indians did.  The people that restored it didn’t realize the trap doors were missing. One never knew who was going to pop out from behind one of the doors  or trapdoors in the floor and tell a joke.  Now ya know.

laugh in

For Those Who Never Got It

Some people never seem to get it.  I want to be a help, so here it is.  Feel free to download it, you never know if you will come across it again. If you don’t need it, you might want to share it with someone else that just doesn’t get it.  When I remember, I carry it in my pocket so I can give it to people whenever they need it.  You are welcome.

IT

Sweetened with Mothballs

Bengal Spice Tea

My favorite tea is Bengal Spice.  As per the instructions, I put some French vanilla creamer and sweetener in it. Yessir, I like this.  But I discovered something reasonably disgusting.  Sugar free Coffee Mate liquid creamer (the refrigerated stuff) added to my Bengal Spice tea makes it taste like it was sweetened with mothballs. Patooey!

I then bought some powered creamer.  This works good except that it is not refrigerated.  Why does this matter, you ask? Well, it doesn’t cool down the Bengal Spice tea like the liquid stuff did.  Now my taste buds have been severely injured.  I may never taste food again.

Well, I’m off.  Have a good day – Kevin

 

© copyright Kevin T Boekhoff

Dream Big

01

A Funny Joke, well maybe its true…

A man goes into an ice cream parlor and says, “I’d like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.”
The girl behind the counter says, “I’m very sorry, sir, but our delivery truck broke down this morning.  We’re out of chocolate,”
“In that case,” the man says, “I’ll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.”
“You don’t understand, sir,” the girl says.  “We have no chocolate.”
“Then just give me some chocolate,” he says.
Getting angrier by the second, the girl says, “Sir, will you spell VAN, as in vanilla?”
The man says, “V-A-N.”
“Now spell STRAW, as in strawberry.”
“OK.  S-T-R-A-W.”
“Now,” the girl says, “spell STINK, as in chocolate.”
The man hesitates.  Then he says.  “There is no stink in chocolate.”
“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!” she screams.

Tweeted?

I still can’t get used to Twitter.  How can I feel masculine?  I mean, other people will receive emails that say, “Kevin T Boekhoff tweeted…” I don’t ever tweet, but I crow once in a while.  I would rather crow than tweet.  Just saying…

What Do You Do When Someone Takes Your Picture When You are Sleeping?

Josee Peri Le Chocolate used the ignore ploy.

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T-Bone Dickens used the dirty look ploy:

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Name Revision and Update

I forgot to put in Josee’s middle name.  Here is her entire name (remember to say it with a French accent) Josee Peri Le Chocolat (Josee is French pronounced zho-zay).

Dickens decided to lay down the law with her that he was top dog of this house.  She responded with a smattering of his face with a barrage of smacks.  So, at the moment the anticipated friendship isn’t progressing very well.

It’s a Girl!!!

A couple days ago, my wife and I were driving by the local animal shelter.  The car suddenly took a right and stopped in their parking lot. We decided that since the car had stopped there, we may as well take a look around.  We met many good dogs and nice cats there.  One young cat spoke to me, but we left anyway.  However, this cat used telepathy, or whatever it is that cats use, and the next day while my wife was at work, I returned. She was still there and happy to see me.  Cats try not to show such things, but she did anyway.

So, in short, we now have a cat.  Here is Josee Peri Le Chocolat (Josee is French pronounced zho-zay). She is nine months old, just spayed etc. Dickens, our Yorkie loves her, but so far its not mutual. She has gone from outright hostility to toleration.  I am confident that she will become best buddies with him.

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