Funny Stuff

In case you would like to read three of my latest funny stories go to:

I hope you enjoyed them and got a giggle or two.
– Kevin

Her Diary, His Diary – Funny

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you too.’

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But, I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried.

I don’t know what to do. I am almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.


His Diary:

Truck won’t start… can’t figure out why.

Getting Ready

DSC_08510003Getting ready to head out for Albuquerque for the Living with Courage Parkinson’s Disease conference. I even get my own table, well half a table. Hopefully, enough table for my display board and my books. Ruthie is going with me, too. I hope she doesn’t get car sick, this will be her first trip.

A New Direction

I have been thinking about a new career. Well, actually more of a new direction for my writing.

The downside is that there is no notoriety in it, which means it probably doesn’t pay well either. However, the satisfaction of seeing something I wrote go viral on the internet might be all I need. The direction isn’t anything new, yet it is exceedingly popular.

I am considering incognito fiction directed at the gullible. All I need do is take something from the headlines and fictionalize it as fact. Some photos and videos unashamedly edited to mislead could accompany my post as “proof.” I could spend time researching and even branch out into making up some conspiracy theories. Proof positive isn’t necessary. I just simply need to produce doubt.

Then I would need a Facebook page or some way to present these fiction pieces anonymously. That way they can be shared with a credible source name attached, like “This is True and You Know It.”

Take the salmonella cucumbers from Mexico. No don’t. They could make you sick. Unless this is only a scare perpetrated by the largest burger business in the world to put gyro fast food places out of business. Without the cucumber sauce, the gyro wouldn’t be the same. So, this could all be a hoax.

Or maybe they really are bad news. A picture of someone spraying cucumbers with something, especially if they are wearing white jumpsuits and gas masks, would be a great start. Then I can ramble on with pure unadulterated speculation to tap into the average person’s fear of things they can’t control and their distrust of the government.

Maybe it could be a story on a major pesticide company tainting the cucumber crop in Mexico with drones. By spraying salmonella on them, the sales will drop. Thus, creating a market for insecticide sales in Mexico.

Maybe I could write such things, post them and start a website that debunks the stuff I made up. Hmmm, maybe that is where the notoriety and money is.

Its True

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

Remember When I Submitted Stories?

Here is the link to my funny story “Cleaning House” published by Clever Magazine. Please click the link and let me know what you think. Thanks.

Joke: Great Advice

A man keeps having horrible paranoid feelings that someone was hiding under his bed.

He finally goes to a psychiatrist. He tells the doctor that he just knows there is someone hiding under his bed at night. He says that whenever he gets the courage to look under the bed, he doesn’t see anyone, but feels the person has probably climbed on top of the bed. So, while he’s never seen the person, he knows he is there.

The psychiatrist says, “This sounds like a very deep-seated problem. It’ll probably take some intense therapeutic sessions, at least once or twice a week for a year or two to resolve the matter.”

The man said, “How much will this cost?”

The doc says, “$150 per session.”

The man gulps and says, “Doc, let me think about it.”

A couple of weeks later the man bumps into the doctor on the sidewalk and says, “Hey, doc. Good news! I’m cured, and it only cost me $10.”

The psychiatrist was stunned and asked, “That’s amazing. How is that possible?”

The man says, “I was telling my ol’ granny about my problem and she said, “Why, honey, just cut the legs off the bed!”

Hey Stranger

True story: I met a friend the other day that greeted me with, “Hey Stranger.”

I replied, “Hey stranger than I.”

He just blinked at me in return. I thought it was funny.

A Kid’s Perspective – funny

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “Honour thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill…”

Have You Heard This One?

After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached there in the window were a host of chocolates, donuts, and cheesecakes. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed … “Lord, it’s up to You. If You want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery.”
And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so good!

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